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Monday, August 19, 2013

Who am I? : And other metaphysical musings....

Hello lovers.

I'm not recapping my weekend. I'm bored to tears with weekend recaps of drinking, and parties...and also my weekend was boring.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about who I am. What defines me.

Its strange that my friends and people around me have no issues describing me.

If you ask my friends to describe my style they will say something like 'Black Audrey Hepburn, with a little edge, and a little boho.'

If you ask them to describe me they will say things like 'sassy, speaks her mind, doesn't take sh*t from anyone, loud, outgoing...ect.'

A longtime friend told me this weekend, 'You always seem to get what you want...I've always wondered how you did that...'

My mom asked me to describe my home decor style. I think I said some crazy bull about mid century modern. Then today I found myself looking at this Versace plate.

And suddenly I want to do my whole living room in black red and gold. Last week I wanted to paint my bookshelves white. In my bedroom, I want a tufted headboard and a crystal chandelier.

But I want to dress exclusively in black leather.

And dye my hair dark purple.

I was raised by a lady. A true lady. My mother was a debutante. So was I. I'm sure Boomer will don a white dress and waltz in circles one day too.

My mom also chopped all her hair off, had an afro once, and I'm pretty sure she had a blond phase too.

I guess I'm wondering...why does it have to be either or?

Can't I wear full skirts, and pumps one day, and leather and studs the next?

Yes...I'd wear both of these....

Can't I be a 'lady' and still not take sh*t from anyone?

Why are we so consumed with definitions? Can't Whitney just be a study of opposing parts and contradictions?

I'm 28 years old and I still have no clue what or who I want to be. Added to that is the pressure is that I'm supposed to teach Boomer how to be an adult.

Is she confused by my confusion? Is this normal? Am I just having a delayed quarter life crisis...?

I'm not expecting to come to any sort of conclusion...just thinking...


The Queen said...

We both know Momma Boom is quite the lady but will also tell you how it is. And Ama and her sisters were the same. So yes, you can be a study of contrasts. And we both know through it all, I will always be the Queen.. The one constant. :0

Anonymous said...

I love this post, I'm so happy I found your blog. I think I've come to the same conclusion you have, that it doesn't have to be one or the other.

For so long I'd go through 'phases' where I wanted to be the classic, elegant lady, or the bad-ass, or sultry, until one day I just decided to be all of them (or none of them).

So now when people asks, "What's your style?" or "Describe yourself" I'm just like, "Ehh, it depends on the day." lol (:

Love your curls in your sidebar picture btw!!

Zauni | The Kind Side

Unknown said...

The Maya Angelou quote at the end pretty much defines this entire post. I am a firm believer that we never truly discover ourselves, because if we did what would make our lives exciting. You have to be able to mold yourself and continue to grow as you get older. The perks of this is simply it gets easier every time. You start to really discover what you like and don't like.

Boomer is lucky to have a mother like you who doesn't put herself into one box or category and expect her to be the same.

Misty, Handbags + Handguns said...

You can totally wear a full skirt with pumps one day and leather and studs the next. That's totally how I am.