Thursday, August 8, 2013

How to properly judge: A hater's guide


If you must hate/troll here is your step by step guide.

1. Read the blog in question.

2. Do you disagree with this person?
  • Ok, don't read their blog anymore.



3. Is this person offending God?
  • No? Ok, don't read their blog anymore.
  • Yes? How the hell do you know? Oh, and don't read their blog anymore.
Yes....Supernatural....

4. Is this person hurting you?
  • No? Didn't think so. Don't read their blog anymore. 
  • Yes? Ok I'm not sure how....but don't read their blog anymore.


5. Is this person hurting themselves?
  • No? Ok don't read their blog anymore. 
  • Yes? See follow up question.
    • Follow up question. Are you their mother? 
      • No? Ok don't read their blog anymore. 
      • Yes? Talk to them off the internet.


6. Is this person breaking the law?
  • No? Ok don't read their blog anymore. 
  • Yes? See follow up question.
  • Follow up question. Do you work for law enforcement? 
    • No? Ok don't read their blog anymore. 
    • Yes? See follow up questions.
      • Does your work in law enforcement cover blogging? 
        • No? Ok don't read their blog anymore. 
        • Yes? WTH kind of job do you have?
      • Will your boss laugh in your face if you try to arrest and or prosecute someone for their blog content? 
        • The only answer to this is yes. Ok so don't read their blog anymore.


7. Is this person hurting your child? 
  • No? Ok, don't read their blog anymore. 
  • Yes? I'm not sure how some random internet stranger is hurting your child....so don't read their blog anymore. 


8. Does this person in any way shape or form really affect you daily life? 
  • No? Ok, don't read their blog anymore. 
  • Yes? Go get a new life because apparently yours sucks. Oh, and don't read their blog anymore.


9. Are you a grown adult? 
  • No? Ok, well you probably shouldn't be reading my blog. 
  • Yes? Act like one.

10. Are you fully capable of hitting the little 'X' in the right hand corner of your browser? 
  • No? Well please find someone to help you do so. 
  • Yes? Ok, so don't read their blog anymore.


Now if you made it through all that congrats! Now go read this well written post by Patricia of Patricia B in France about spreading blogger love, because its a much more mature approach than my silly post.

22 comments:

Whitney Ellen said...

Hit this one right out of the park. LOVE YOUR SOUL.

Stephanie said...

Haha, I love this! A lot!

xx BHB said...

Boom, boom, boom. You win at life.

Setarra said...

You betta preach!!

teddi said...

I love this!

Kenzie Smith said...

This post is great!

Amanda said...

HA! Love it

Patricia said...

Amen! This is spot on!

Kaitlin said...

You win blogging today. I would make you a trophy if I could haha!

Tiffany @ Polka Dotted Cats said...

Hahaha, amazing!

Liz @ Fitness Blondie said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EFFINF BRILLIANT

Sevi {Ware is the Vodka?!?} said...

This was perfect. PERFECT.

Stephanie said...

Oh dear... "Will your boss laugh in your face if you try to arrest and or prosecute someone for their blog content? The only answer to this is yes. Ok so don't read their blog anymore."
I've absolutely used blog/facebook/twitter content in proving my client's exes as unfit parents in custody proceedings. It's admissible! Gotta be careful.

Ashley said...

Oh my gosh! First I'm dying at all the of RH gifs and love the supernatural one hahahahaha.

You are so right about this seriously don't hate because you can. Click that little X in the corner and move on with your life.

Venus Trapped In Mars said...

How did I miss this yesterday!!? LOVE IT my friend. Thank you for posting this, thank you.

Tami said...

Yes! Yes yes yes. It's not hard. (Clearly)

Gwen said...

OMG, this is awesome. I may have spit on my monitor when reading the law enforcement follow up questions!

Serena said...

Ahahah! I was cracking up. I just unfollowed a ton of blogs for those very reasons.

brooke lyn said...

this is glorious!!!!!!!! fantastic.

Ruby Annette said...

Perfect. Love it!

Shane Prather said...

Hahaha this is on point. Dying laughing in the office right now!

Christina said...

This is perfection!!!