Image Map

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

What's Wrong with Thank You? : Women and Compliments

So a long, long time ago Camila, of Camila's Closet, tweeted me a link to this video.

If any woman reading this post tells me she can't relate...well sweetie you're lying.

The video may be extreme but we've all done that.

Why do we do this though?

What is so wrong with saying thank you or acknowledging a compliment?

Take for example this conversation I had with a coworker:

'Whitney, I love your curls! So much beautiful hair.'
'Oh....thank you. *shaking my head* It took me a long time to love this hair, its so crazy' 

Wait, what?!?!?! Why did I have to throw that in there?

Or this conversation I overheard in line at lunch.

'Oh I LOVE that dress!'
'Ugh, it used to fit so much better before the baby.'

Umm...ok...that might be true...but why tell that?

So here is my theory. As a culture we are used to tearing people down. We do it on the daily. We read celeb magazine just to see what awful thing this weeks celebutante is wearing. We relish in the downfalls of politicians and socialites.(The 24/7 coverage of Paula Deen and Anthony Wiener anyone?) In a society of mean girls (and boys) isn't it easier to just beat them to the punch? On the flip side of that is the problem of the 'good girl'. Good girls are quiet and retiring. Good girls support others in the spotlight, they don't take it themselves. Good girls dress nicely, but not to call attention. Good girls, essentially, fade into the background.

You know what though? Good girls are polite. So the next time someone pays you a compliment? Say thank you and leave it at that. If you're feeling like being a bad ass though you should still say thank you. Throw them off their game like the girl in the video.

P.S. I'm giving away something shiny and pretty over HERE today, with some other awesome ladies and prizes.


Venus Trapped In Mars said...

Spot on. You rocked this post. I am just like this, "thank you but-----"

We all need to work on that!

Nikki Mitchell said...

Agreed. I definitely make an effort now to say thank you with a compliment and then stop talking lol. It also makes things less awkward and leaves room for you to receive more compliments.

Helene in Between said...

hahaha YES im so bad about this

Vanessa Esperanza said...


Gwen said...

I. Love. This. Post.

I do this too, of course. But literally over the weekend a total stranger (female) came up to me and told me I'm pretty. Now, I felt like crap on a stick but, probably because I didn't know her, I just said thank you. It actually felt good!

Anonymous said...

I agree with the fact that a lot of the times we're just quick to point out our flaws so that the other person doesn't first. I'm used to be so guilty on that!! It took a while to just say THANK YOU!

But I do think that certain comments girls make on compliments (like the example you made about your curls) I don't think it's not being able to take a compliment, I think it's more so along the lines of trying to be friendly & share.

When people compliment my hair I say something similar to you. But it's not like "omg I hate my curls so let me tell you how much I hate them first!" It's more so, "Oh you like them? Well girl come in closer and let me tell you about my hair journey!!!!" lol

But I agree, we just need to shut up and say THANK YOU! (:

Zauni | The Kind Side

C said...

I totally do this! Amazing post. I'm going to be a good from now on!

I'm a brand new follower. Don't mind me while I take a look around for a while. ;)

Cee said...

It's funny - Canadian culture is so self-deprecating that both men and women do this; it's not neccessarily out of a sense of trying to tear people down but rather that our rules of politeness dictate that taking a compliment could be considered bragging. Crazy, but true!

jackie jade said...

i can't watch the video at work, but i have an idea what it's all about... i'm so guilty of this. i often will say something like "thanks - it was on super sale!" too, like i can't let people think i paid full price for my cute bag. oops. i definitely need to learn to take a compliment without being self-deprecating.
-- jackie @ jade and oak