Friday, February 14, 2014

I Still Love Love and I Like my Ex

Hi all!

So this is technically my first single Valentine's Day in a long time.

I've gotten a few concerned texts, pitying looks, ect.

I'M FINE GUYS.

REALLY.

I LOVE this holiday. I LOVE this day. Heck I'm wearing a hot pink dress at work!

I'm not angry, bitter or resentful. For my friends that have someone special to share this day with, I'm truly happy for them. For myself, I get to spend my evening with Boomer who asked me yesterday to be her Valentine. (I sent her a flower from the cheerleaders at her school and she thought it was the coolest thing ever, so she asked me.) We are going to watch Brave, and eat chocolate and popcorn and snuggle with Jackson, the main man in our lives.

I hope that someday, maybe sooner rather than later, there will be a man friend to watch Disney movies with us and snuggle too. I'm also totally ok with the fact that right now it is just us girls.

To switch gears, I thought I would do a different take on the "Why we Work" trend it posts.

I'm going to tell you why JJ and I work...now.


21 year old Whitney and 22 year old JJ

I know it's weird. My ex and I get along pretty well for the most part. I remember going to marriage counseling once, and the counselor being SO confused.

"Why are you here? You guys seem to get along great!"

We do. When the three of us hang out, grab dinner, or see a movie the dynamic is great.

We don't hate each other. We don't scream and argue. We don't use our kid as a weapon. We genuinely enjoy each other.

Back when we were all babies...

The issues in our marriage were there. They were big. They were ultimately insurmountable. We got married too young. We didn't have the same goals, and visions for our lives, we were, to put it simply, a mess. Under all the mess, and hurt, and betrayal though, we loved each other and created a really beautiful little girl out of the mess.

Boomer's Dedication

Now that we've taken ourselves out of the marriage equation, we work. We can discuss Boomer, and parent her and be friends. He comes to Christmas and Thanksgiving and Hanukkah. We all went to see Lego Movie last weekend. He drove me to the store when I had a migraine. He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But we work.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

17 comments:

Misty C. said...

This is such a great post. Boomer is a very lucky girl to have two awesome parents.

Even though I love this post and you, I still hate Valentine's Day. ;)

MarlaJan said...

What a beautiful post! I find it wonderful and uplifting to hear of someone speak so highly of their ex. You both realized you didn't work as a couple, and although that brought a lot of hurt, guilt and bad feelings to the surface, you did the right thing. I know so many people who "stay together for the kids," and really... that does nothing for anyone. Boomer is a very lucky gal to have you as a Valentine, and to have 2 sweet loving parents.

Alisha @ The Alisha Nicole said...

I love this post!! I think most people think exes are supposed to hate each other..i think its great that you two still get a long..and I wish I could come hang with you and Boomer tonight!

Whitney Ellen said...

Boomer picked herself a mighty fine set of parents. <3

Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

i love this!! it's not every day that you hear someone praising their ex. most of the time, they bash the hell out of each other so this is really refreshing. boomer is lukcy :)

-kathy
Vodka and Soda

jackie jade said...

that is seriously awesome that you guys still work even though you're no longer together. and also smart that you both realized marriage wasn't right but can still be there for one another.
-- jackie - jade and oak

Vicki said...

That is so great to read! I try really hard to get along with my son's father. He's asked me why his dad and I are no longer together and I tell him that we get along better when we aren't together. We are just better as friends. It's not always easy, but it works for us 3. It's great for Boomer that she can see you getting along and being able to participate in activities with her.

Rachel Murphree said...

This post was seriously inspiring and refreshing. I think the relationship that you have is awesome, and even more importantly, that you guys put all hurt and egos aside and make Boomer the #1 priority. You are wonderful parents.

Marianna Dunn said...

I love this! It is so special that y'all can have a supportive, positive relationship for Boomer. She's a lucky girl!

JumpingJE said...

Love this, and i want to see that hot pink dress!

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

Boomer is one lucky girl to have parents like the BOTH of you! :) Also, you look exactly the same at 21 as you do now and I hate you for that. :)

LG @ thelaurelgazette.com said...

there will be a new man friend to watch brave and eat chocolate and popcorn with you and boomer one day soon, because you're awesome, and this post proves it. so very very happy for what you guys have worked out:)

Laynah said...

Wow, this is a really refreshing and mature post. But I must admit, what grabbed my attention first was your killer design. Love it.

Cee said...

This was a wonderful post to read, Whitney. I think that many people have a difficult time remembering that just because you don't want to be married to, friends with, or have any other kind of relationship with a person doesn't mean you don't love them. It just means that, for whatever reason, there are problems you can't work past and the dynamic needs to change. I'm glad you've found a way to make things work together, Boomer is a lucky girl.
xox,
Cee

Gwen said...

As everyone else said, Boomer is super lucky, and so are you! I love that you and your ex get along and that the three of you do things together!

DeborahYanni said...

Baby Boomer is the cutest!!

mark meol said...

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