Hey Guys!
I'm really sick of all the blogging drams rolling around. So today I'm posting about something that always makes me happy.
MUSIC!
These are some songs that have been in heavy rotation for me lately.
Bad- Wale
Ok....so this is essentially a slut anthem, and I'm no slut, but I can't help but love this song. Some of what Wale is saying in his verses about women is deep, the hook is catchy, and anytime there is a squeaking bed in the beat I'm sold.
Radioactive- Imagine Dragons
This song is old. Its been out for about....a year and a half (with the album), and I was truly sick to death of the bands first single. But this! This song I love! Listened to it over and over yesterday at work. I realize that its used in the trailer for The Host, and also some commercials....but this is one I can't let go of. I also may or may not relate to the pink teddy bear in the video.
Pink- Give Me a Reason
Pink does no wrong. Ever. Period. I've loved her since her first album, and this song is just perfect. Its also helping me teach Boomer how to harmonize.
Rihanna- Stay
I was super irritated with her at the Grammy's, but when she sang this it reminded me of how talented she really is. Despite her personal issues, this song is haunting, and relate-able. I get it. Just sing it to someone other than Breezy boo.
Calvin Harris- Sweet Nothing ft. Florence Welch
A combo of two artists I'm crazy about. This song is on EVERY morning on my way to work. I crank it up load and it gets me pumped up for my day. The lyrics really resonate for me. 'Its not enough to tell me that you care, cuz we both know that words are empty air....' Florence is such a unique voice and artists, and Calvin has had a really great career and I love his collaborations with other artists as well.
Alright so those are my songs right now. I'm super corny and when they come on the radio I say things like 'OMG, this song is LIFE!' Yep, I'm that girl. So what is in heavy rotation for you?
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Mommy Confessions: I'm an asshole
I'm not THAT kind of mother.
My friends say that to me all the time.
I laugh and say 'I know! Right?'
Because I'm not. I'm the kind of mother that keeps it real. That doesn't care for other people's children. That thinks that if Boomer CAN do something for herself that she SHOULD. That when she falls, or trips, doesn't allow her to have a meltdown. You don't have time for meltdowns over skinned knees.
See my mother, is THAT kind of mom. She packed my lunch everyday and put in cute little notes. Or drew detailed pictures on the outside of the brown bag. (I've actually kept some of the really great ones.) My mom stayed home with me. She took me to extracurriculars. She was very present and involved in my life. Sure my mom had friends, interests, and a life outside of me. But she just was THAT kind of mom.
Which is why the following two stories appalled her. And cracked me up.
Boomer stayed with Mom during her Spring Break for a few days. Boomer would have to accompany her Mom to her acupuncture appointment. Boomer would have to behave and be quiet on said appointment.
Now Boomer is active anyway. However lately we have been having intermittent bouts of some behavior that Momma (myself and Boom) doesn't like. I know that divorce is hard on kiddos, but Boomer has been....off the chain.
So while my mother is calmly and sweetly explaining to Boomer, how she knows she is good girl and that she can behave during her appointment, I am giving Boomer side eye. And once my mother finished her nice cop routine, this is what I told my daughter.
'I'm sending a note with Mimi. The note will say that if you act up, the acupuncturist has my permission to stick needles in your eyes.'
Yep....I'm an asshole.
Wait....it gets better. While Boomer's eyes are effectively as big as saucers and her bottom lip is shaking I continue with my story.
'When they stick needles in the corners of your eyes it paralyzes you. You won't be able to talk or move around anymore. I'll also call in to find out how you were. If I find out you were naughty, not only will they stick needles in your eyes; I'll also schedule a follow up appointment for you with the acupuncturist.' (I HAVE actually thought about taking her for acupressure....)
Boomer was freaked out. To the point that she was silently eating. She is never silent.
Mom was giving me a disapproving look.
I was satisfied I'd scared her enough for her to behave.
Then Mom calls me the morning of her appointment to tell me that Boomer is so upset that she won't eat because she thinks they are going to stick needles in her eyes.
So I had to eat crow.
I apologized and explained to Boomer that I wouldn't let anyone put needles in her eyes.
Turns out she behaved quite nicely for Mom without being scared out of her mind by me.
Then yesterday morning.....
Boomer was having an EPIC tantrum because I told her 'No you may not watch TV, you need to get dressed.'
'I HATE YOU!!! You're the worst Mommy EVER!'
Then she slammed the bathroom door.
Now back in my day....you didn't slam doors. Ever. Not if you weren't paying the bills.
I was about to get up and give her a piece of my mind....and then I heard it.
She was rattling the door back and forth. She was STUCK!!!!
Oh did I die laughing....and then text my friends about it....and laughed some more.
Boomer was crying about being stuck....and I let her for a second. Because I'm THAT kind of mother. I don't want her to learn from her mistakes. I'd prefer that she learn from other peoples. However, if you learn not to slam doors in my house because you got stuck in the bathroom, so be it!
I'm an asshole.
My friends say that to me all the time.
I laugh and say 'I know! Right?'
Because I'm not. I'm the kind of mother that keeps it real. That doesn't care for other people's children. That thinks that if Boomer CAN do something for herself that she SHOULD. That when she falls, or trips, doesn't allow her to have a meltdown. You don't have time for meltdowns over skinned knees.
See my mother, is THAT kind of mom. She packed my lunch everyday and put in cute little notes. Or drew detailed pictures on the outside of the brown bag. (I've actually kept some of the really great ones.) My mom stayed home with me. She took me to extracurriculars. She was very present and involved in my life. Sure my mom had friends, interests, and a life outside of me. But she just was THAT kind of mom.
Which is why the following two stories appalled her. And cracked me up.
Boomer stayed with Mom during her Spring Break for a few days. Boomer would have to accompany her Mom to her acupuncture appointment. Boomer would have to behave and be quiet on said appointment.
Now Boomer is active anyway. However lately we have been having intermittent bouts of some behavior that Momma (myself and Boom) doesn't like. I know that divorce is hard on kiddos, but Boomer has been....off the chain.
So while my mother is calmly and sweetly explaining to Boomer, how she knows she is good girl and that she can behave during her appointment, I am giving Boomer side eye. And once my mother finished her nice cop routine, this is what I told my daughter.
'I'm sending a note with Mimi. The note will say that if you act up, the acupuncturist has my permission to stick needles in your eyes.'
Yep....I'm an asshole.
Wait....it gets better. While Boomer's eyes are effectively as big as saucers and her bottom lip is shaking I continue with my story.
'When they stick needles in the corners of your eyes it paralyzes you. You won't be able to talk or move around anymore. I'll also call in to find out how you were. If I find out you were naughty, not only will they stick needles in your eyes; I'll also schedule a follow up appointment for you with the acupuncturist.' (I HAVE actually thought about taking her for acupressure....)
Boomer was freaked out. To the point that she was silently eating. She is never silent.
Mom was giving me a disapproving look.
I was satisfied I'd scared her enough for her to behave.
Then Mom calls me the morning of her appointment to tell me that Boomer is so upset that she won't eat because she thinks they are going to stick needles in her eyes.
So I had to eat crow.
I apologized and explained to Boomer that I wouldn't let anyone put needles in her eyes.
Turns out she behaved quite nicely for Mom without being scared out of her mind by me.
Then yesterday morning.....
Boomer was having an EPIC tantrum because I told her 'No you may not watch TV, you need to get dressed.'
'I HATE YOU!!! You're the worst Mommy EVER!'
Then she slammed the bathroom door.
Now back in my day....you didn't slam doors. Ever. Not if you weren't paying the bills.
I was about to get up and give her a piece of my mind....and then I heard it.
She was rattling the door back and forth. She was STUCK!!!!
Oh did I die laughing....and then text my friends about it....and laughed some more.
Boomer was crying about being stuck....and I let her for a second. Because I'm THAT kind of mother. I don't want her to learn from her mistakes. I'd prefer that she learn from other peoples. However, if you learn not to slam doors in my house because you got stuck in the bathroom, so be it!
I'm an asshole.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Weekend Update: Eastah
Linking up with Sami for another weekend update!
Eastah.....that's what we call it around here. As a joke, just to clarify I am well aware that its actually EastER.
So Saturday I actually made it to church. I'm sure there were angels that got really excited about that because it hasn't happened since....mom's birthday...in February. Boomer was very excited to wear her Easter dress. I personally was trying to channel a modern Easter egg.
Saturday night I went to watch the OSU game with some friends. We lost so I was sad, but I actually ended up having a great time catching up with my friends. See this a part of the group I went to high school with and somehow we ended up playing all of our old school hip hop favorites. We were a little disturbed at how dirty some of these songs were in retrospect.
Sunday Boomer woke up at 730am. She tried really hard, but I didn't actually get out of bed until about 930am. I convinced her to cuddle with me for one of those hours, and then she convinced me she HAD to watch Spongebob for the other hour. Compromise people.
We finally made it across the street to Mom's house for brunch and baskets. I'll let you guys know now that I am not the 'orchestrate and elaborate Easter egg hunt to find an equally elaborate basket' kind of mother. I'm just not. I'm the 'put together a few thoughtful things and play 'hot/cold' to find it' kind of mother. Boomer doesn't seem to mind. Its also not like she's never had a fun Easter egg hunt.
That little girl cleaned up too. She got goodies from Lush (from me of course), candy, stuffed lambs (her nickname is 'little lamb'), some accessories fit for a little lady (from my mother of course), and some neat puzzles. She was quite happy with it all. *Heads up to my Columbus blogger buddies* I got the scoop at the Easton Lush location that a store will be opening in Polaris this summer! Now I only have to drive 5 minutes to get my fix!!!!
We spent the rest of the day being lazy at home. She put together her puzzle and I watched basketball.
I know everyone is talking about that poor young man Ware. I saw it, and it was truly awful. That's a post for later this week.
Also saw the Walking Dead finale. I love Daryl.....and now I have to wait another six months for new episodes. Not cool AMC, not cool.
Eastah.....that's what we call it around here. As a joke, just to clarify I am well aware that its actually EastER.
So Saturday I actually made it to church. I'm sure there were angels that got really excited about that because it hasn't happened since....mom's birthday...in February. Boomer was very excited to wear her Easter dress. I personally was trying to channel a modern Easter egg.
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| Sometimes we clean up pretty well! |
 |
| OMG! What is on your face?!?! |
.JPG) | |
| Mommy! Can we be silly? |
Saturday night I went to watch the OSU game with some friends. We lost so I was sad, but I actually ended up having a great time catching up with my friends. See this a part of the group I went to high school with and somehow we ended up playing all of our old school hip hop favorites. We were a little disturbed at how dirty some of these songs were in retrospect.
Sunday Boomer woke up at 730am. She tried really hard, but I didn't actually get out of bed until about 930am. I convinced her to cuddle with me for one of those hours, and then she convinced me she HAD to watch Spongebob for the other hour. Compromise people.
We finally made it across the street to Mom's house for brunch and baskets. I'll let you guys know now that I am not the 'orchestrate and elaborate Easter egg hunt to find an equally elaborate basket' kind of mother. I'm just not. I'm the 'put together a few thoughtful things and play 'hot/cold' to find it' kind of mother. Boomer doesn't seem to mind. Its also not like she's never had a fun Easter egg hunt.
That little girl cleaned up too. She got goodies from Lush (from me of course), candy, stuffed lambs (her nickname is 'little lamb'), some accessories fit for a little lady (from my mother of course), and some neat puzzles. She was quite happy with it all. *Heads up to my Columbus blogger buddies* I got the scoop at the Easton Lush location that a store will be opening in Polaris this summer! Now I only have to drive 5 minutes to get my fix!!!!
We spent the rest of the day being lazy at home. She put together her puzzle and I watched basketball.
I know everyone is talking about that poor young man Ware. I saw it, and it was truly awful. That's a post for later this week.
Also saw the Walking Dead finale. I love Daryl.....and now I have to wait another six months for new episodes. Not cool AMC, not cool.
 |
| Oh yeah, it was actually sunny and 57 degrees in Ohio this weekend! |
Friday, March 29, 2013
I remember why I love blogging....
Guys.
This week has restored my blogging faith/love/mojo you name it.
It started a little rough with some fall out from Blissdom.....and then it just got magical.
I posted about my dinner experience on Wednesday. I wrote that post Tuesday night as soon as I got home and I stared at the publish button FOREVER. I contemplated just leaving it a draft. I wondered is this the 'me' my readers want to see? Do they just want the light funny stuff about Boomer? Or beauty posts? Link ups? How about this scary thought....the majority of you, my followers, are White. If I post about my experience as a Black/biracial woman will you get it? Will you care? Will you ignore it?
I published it anyway. I've written my whole life. Journals, articles, papers, blurbs. I've always been the most honest in my writing. The most unafraid. In my core I am a lover of the written word. I love to read the expressions of others and share my own. So I did.
Then you all made me remember why I love this medium. Not only did you care, but you talked about it. You shared it. You commented on the blog, Facebook, twitter and some of you literally made me cry. You told me that I made you think. You told me about similar experiences. I felt so engaged with you all because I was my real authentic self, not in spite of it.
Then yesterday Christina posted this piece on her blog. I commented and then kind of forgot about it. I then saw this tweet love between two of my favorite bloggers and I posted a screen cap of it on Instagram.
I love seeing women support each other and build each other up. To see it between two of my blog crushes just made me have even more warm fuzzies. I decided to check out what Vhani's comment actually was, and then I was blown away again.
Christina's comment section had become a full on discussion, and it was amazing. There were all these smart, articulate ladies sharing their ideas in this mini forum. They did not all agree by any means, but there they were putting there thoughts out for the world. Having discussion without being hateful. Without being 'trolls'.
THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!
Connection. Sharing. Growth. Thought.
I want to be challenged and provoked. I want to challenge and provoke. I want to share my stories and reach out to the people that touch me.
I want to extend out of my bubble. Yes, I'm a mommy/lifestyle blogger. Vhani is a fashion blogger and so is Christina. They also blog about their lives and experiences. That doesn't mean that I can't learn something from them, or vice versa because we are in two 'different' blogging communities. Whitney is a childless, lifestyle blogger. She doesn't have or want kids right now. She still reads my posts about my struggles with becoming a single parent. I'm divorcing now, I haven't stopped reading all the happily married bloggers. My IRL best friend Michael is a globe trotting photographer and because I read his blog, I've met other amazing bloggers, artists and people that are WAY outside of my circle. I think I'm better for that. His blog has also encouraged me back to my love of music and the experience that comes along with not only seeing live music, but creating my own.
All these blogs and the writers behind them are different. Some of us believe different things. Some are conservative. Some are liberal. Some of them can afford Louboutin's and some can afford ramen. I'm getting something from EVERY SINGLE ONE. I go back and read their posts because I get something there. Whether its a laugh, or a recipe, an outfit inspiration, or thoughts on parenting. There are amazing girls right here in Columbus that I would have NEVER known had I not started this space almost 2 years ago. (I know that's a lot of links, but you should check them all out when you have time.)
With all the mess in my own personal life it's been hard to blog. Its been hard to engage. I don't want to comment. I don't want to write. Sometimes I barely make it through my day successfully. It requires every bit of mental strength just to do the basic everyday for Boomer and I. However in the past 3 days, I feel like I've almost been reawakened. I know that seems silly. A few good posts and suddenly I feel alive again? But I do. I feel like I have something to say. I have something to contribute.
I'm not saying I'm fixed/cured. Or that I'm suddenly going to become the happiest and most prolific blogger in the world. But I remember why this space was so important to me. Why I created it.
So this is the longest thank you letter I've ever written. Thank you for reading. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing. Thank you.
This week has restored my blogging faith/love/mojo you name it.
It started a little rough with some fall out from Blissdom.....and then it just got magical.
I posted about my dinner experience on Wednesday. I wrote that post Tuesday night as soon as I got home and I stared at the publish button FOREVER. I contemplated just leaving it a draft. I wondered is this the 'me' my readers want to see? Do they just want the light funny stuff about Boomer? Or beauty posts? Link ups? How about this scary thought....the majority of you, my followers, are White. If I post about my experience as a Black/biracial woman will you get it? Will you care? Will you ignore it?
I published it anyway. I've written my whole life. Journals, articles, papers, blurbs. I've always been the most honest in my writing. The most unafraid. In my core I am a lover of the written word. I love to read the expressions of others and share my own. So I did.
Then you all made me remember why I love this medium. Not only did you care, but you talked about it. You shared it. You commented on the blog, Facebook, twitter and some of you literally made me cry. You told me that I made you think. You told me about similar experiences. I felt so engaged with you all because I was my real authentic self, not in spite of it.
Then yesterday Christina posted this piece on her blog. I commented and then kind of forgot about it. I then saw this tweet love between two of my favorite bloggers and I posted a screen cap of it on Instagram.
I love seeing women support each other and build each other up. To see it between two of my blog crushes just made me have even more warm fuzzies. I decided to check out what Vhani's comment actually was, and then I was blown away again.
Christina's comment section had become a full on discussion, and it was amazing. There were all these smart, articulate ladies sharing their ideas in this mini forum. They did not all agree by any means, but there they were putting there thoughts out for the world. Having discussion without being hateful. Without being 'trolls'.
THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!
Connection. Sharing. Growth. Thought.
I want to be challenged and provoked. I want to challenge and provoke. I want to share my stories and reach out to the people that touch me.
I want to extend out of my bubble. Yes, I'm a mommy/lifestyle blogger. Vhani is a fashion blogger and so is Christina. They also blog about their lives and experiences. That doesn't mean that I can't learn something from them, or vice versa because we are in two 'different' blogging communities. Whitney is a childless, lifestyle blogger. She doesn't have or want kids right now. She still reads my posts about my struggles with becoming a single parent. I'm divorcing now, I haven't stopped reading all the happily married bloggers. My IRL best friend Michael is a globe trotting photographer and because I read his blog, I've met other amazing bloggers, artists and people that are WAY outside of my circle. I think I'm better for that. His blog has also encouraged me back to my love of music and the experience that comes along with not only seeing live music, but creating my own.
All these blogs and the writers behind them are different. Some of us believe different things. Some are conservative. Some are liberal. Some of them can afford Louboutin's and some can afford ramen. I'm getting something from EVERY SINGLE ONE. I go back and read their posts because I get something there. Whether its a laugh, or a recipe, an outfit inspiration, or thoughts on parenting. There are amazing girls right here in Columbus that I would have NEVER known had I not started this space almost 2 years ago. (I know that's a lot of links, but you should check them all out when you have time.)
With all the mess in my own personal life it's been hard to blog. Its been hard to engage. I don't want to comment. I don't want to write. Sometimes I barely make it through my day successfully. It requires every bit of mental strength just to do the basic everyday for Boomer and I. However in the past 3 days, I feel like I've almost been reawakened. I know that seems silly. A few good posts and suddenly I feel alive again? But I do. I feel like I have something to say. I have something to contribute.
I'm not saying I'm fixed/cured. Or that I'm suddenly going to become the happiest and most prolific blogger in the world. But I remember why this space was so important to me. Why I created it.
So this is the longest thank you letter I've ever written. Thank you for reading. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing. Thank you.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Throwback Thurday? Why not....
Hey Lovelies!
So I'm not really a fan of Instagram's famous #tbt. I bitch about how annoying it is to friends every week.
Then Boomer was walking around this morning with this picture and I felt like I just had to join in on the blogging version Misty (who I LOVE) tweeted about last night and well, I need to blog more.
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This is me.....almost exactly 10 years ago at my senior prom. Yes....frequent readers and IG followers I did wear that very same dress to the Halloween party I attended a few months ago.
Its pretty shallow, but I have to say I feel like I'm winning at life that I can still wear the dress. Also winning because in the first photo my dress was MAJORLY stuffed in the front, and quite a bit looser in the back end.
I mean stuffed to the point that the guy I dated for most of that year came up to me at one point during prom and asked. 'What is going on with your chest Whit?'
Let the record show that he and I are actually still VERY good friends, and we actually went to the Halloween party together. He redeemed himself by saying as soon as he saw me 'I like that dress MUCH better now. You look.....womanly....yeah.'
I mean he's a guy, so its not like he's going to say something all that eloquent or well put together.
I also wore this dress to a banquet in college so I feel like Momma Boom got her money's worth for sure!
I look at the girl in that photo and there is so much I'd like to tell her.
Like the guy you spend 3 years mooning over in high school will never grow up, he's 30 now and still a douche lord. You dodged a major bullet hon.
Also you are going to go into A LOT of debt because of college. You should have stayed in Ohio and gone to an in-state school. College experience my ass.
You are going to live the next 10 years of your life backwards and in fast forward. Within 3 years of this picture you will be a wife and a mom. Then you'll just be a mom. And this is all going to be OK.
Some of the people that are SO important to you now, will not matter in 6 months. Some of them, guy who questions your chest a prom, will continue to be wonderful supportive friends forever. They will show up to baby showers, listen to you cry over the end of your marriage, and be some of the most awesome people ever.
You have a lot of crazy, silly, misguided ideas about life and love. You need to snap out of it chick. And you will.
You will change in so many ways, and in so many other's you will always be who you are now.
Right now, you are awkward and unsure of yourself. You didn't even really plan your life past 18. You will hit 27 and be so in love with yourself. You will realize that the people that tried to tear you apart in high school are miserable people that need more counseling than a lifetime of psychotherapy can provide. You will make mistakes, learn and grow from them. You will gain friends, you will lose some. You will learn to appreciate your mother. A lot. You will no longer think of your 30s as some sort of mid life pit. You will be so looking forward to the next 10.
And if this dress still fits me at 38.....well bitches we're having a party.
So I'm not really a fan of Instagram's famous #tbt. I bitch about how annoying it is to friends every week.
Then Boomer was walking around this morning with this picture and I felt like I just had to join in on the blogging version Misty (who I LOVE) tweeted about last night and well, I need to blog more.
This is me.....almost exactly 10 years ago at my senior prom. Yes....frequent readers and IG followers I did wear that very same dress to the Halloween party I attended a few months ago.
Its pretty shallow, but I have to say I feel like I'm winning at life that I can still wear the dress. Also winning because in the first photo my dress was MAJORLY stuffed in the front, and quite a bit looser in the back end.
I mean stuffed to the point that the guy I dated for most of that year came up to me at one point during prom and asked. 'What is going on with your chest Whit?'
Let the record show that he and I are actually still VERY good friends, and we actually went to the Halloween party together. He redeemed himself by saying as soon as he saw me 'I like that dress MUCH better now. You look.....womanly....yeah.'
I mean he's a guy, so its not like he's going to say something all that eloquent or well put together.
I also wore this dress to a banquet in college so I feel like Momma Boom got her money's worth for sure!
I look at the girl in that photo and there is so much I'd like to tell her.
Like the guy you spend 3 years mooning over in high school will never grow up, he's 30 now and still a douche lord. You dodged a major bullet hon.
Also you are going to go into A LOT of debt because of college. You should have stayed in Ohio and gone to an in-state school. College experience my ass.
You are going to live the next 10 years of your life backwards and in fast forward. Within 3 years of this picture you will be a wife and a mom. Then you'll just be a mom. And this is all going to be OK.
Some of the people that are SO important to you now, will not matter in 6 months. Some of them, guy who questions your chest a prom, will continue to be wonderful supportive friends forever. They will show up to baby showers, listen to you cry over the end of your marriage, and be some of the most awesome people ever.
You have a lot of crazy, silly, misguided ideas about life and love. You need to snap out of it chick. And you will.
You will change in so many ways, and in so many other's you will always be who you are now.
Right now, you are awkward and unsure of yourself. You didn't even really plan your life past 18. You will hit 27 and be so in love with yourself. You will realize that the people that tried to tear you apart in high school are miserable people that need more counseling than a lifetime of psychotherapy can provide. You will make mistakes, learn and grow from them. You will gain friends, you will lose some. You will learn to appreciate your mother. A lot. You will no longer think of your 30s as some sort of mid life pit. You will be so looking forward to the next 10.
And if this dress still fits me at 38.....well bitches we're having a party.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
When did you learn how to hate?
I would like to come back from my blog hiatus with something light and funny.
Maybe a post about what the trends for spring are....
Perhaps another Sh*t Boomer Says post for mommy confessions. I'm still linking up today because I need to share this and its a confession of sorts.
Something happened to me last night though that is weighing heavy on my mind. In my off line life I've always written about things that matter to me, things that effect me, and my real thoughts and feelings. Why should my blog be any different?
When did you figure out you weren't the same as everyone around you?
For Boomer it was right around 3/4 years old. She was drawing picture of her friend and had laid out different colors of crayons. She asked me to read her the names of the colors.
'Oh Momma! Mason is peach, and I'm tan, and I want to make Chris burnt sienna, and my teacher is apricot.'
She realized that yes, she and all her friends were different colors, but she was excited about all the varying shades of brown, tan, and peach.
She's almost 7 years old and still refers to Caucasian people as 'peach.'
Last night we went out to dinner with my mom. As Boomer and I sat down I noticed the couple across from us shooting disgusted looks our way. I brushed it off. I used to give people with children a similar eye roll I'm sure. No one wants to be seated next to a screaming kid, throwing their vegetables all over the floor. I know my daughter is well behaved, and often charms those seated around her with her quick wit, humor, and sweet nature so I wasn't worried at all.
Then my mother came to the table from the restroom, where she had stopped first, and she also received the same disgusted look. My heart sank a little. I knew now the woman had no issue with the fact that there was a child at the table, but merely with the fact that she was seated near us.
The looks continued throughout dinner. Boomer was her sweet, generally well behaved self, and there were several other children in the dining room, as this is a family restaurant. None of those tables got any of the dirty looks that we did.
Finally it was time for us to leave. We collected our things and I helped Boomer with her coat. Then I heard the woman, clearly and loudly say 'Oh thank God, they're going.'
In 10 seconds my emotions ran the gamut. I was enraged, I was hurt, I felt sorry FOR HER, and fiercely protective of my child. I ushered Boomer quickly to the check out and I knew my mother was behind me. When we had rounded the corner I asked my mom if she had heard what the woman said? She hadn't so I repeated it.
Now you all should know something about my mother. While she is the epitome of a lady, she is not one to take anything lying down. I remember an instance when I was little where we were followed around a store by SEVERAL store clerks. My mother in her very polite and well spoken way, explained to me loudly enough that not only those clerks but the other patrons of the store could hear, that some people automatically assume that simply because of the color of your skin you're a criminal. She then went to the manager of the store and explained that she had planned to spend a great deal of money on my back to school shopping that day, but that she would now be taking her purchase elsewhere because, 'my dollars are the same shade of green as everyone else's.' (This was not the first, or last time something like this would happen.)
After I repeated what the woman had said, my mother just shook her head. I told the cashier what had happened and she was appalled. She apologized and I told her it wasn't her fault at all. She said 'Its a shame that some people just don't have manners.'
When we got in the car, Boomer asked me, 'Why didn't that lady like us? Is it because we're brown and she's peach?"
"Yes, baby something like that."
"But mommy, I have lots of friends that are that color. Gran Gran is that color."
"I know. Not everyone feels the way that she does, but some people do"
I had to stop and get gas and when I peaked in the car I noticed that my mom and Boomer were praying. Mom later told me that they were praying for the woman in the restaurant.
I'm glad that my mom is around to have those teachable moments with Boomer.
I'm at a loss though. How do you explain to a 6 year old that the rules are different for her because of how she looks? That people will assume she is a thief in a store simply because she is 'tan'. That she has to be careful of how she carries herself in certain situations lest she be considered an 'angry black woman'.
I remember when I was a sophomore in high school (2001), one of my class mates tried to convince me that racism didn't exist anymore. I invited him to go shopping with me.
Then following the election of Barack Obama, a girl friend of mine who is Caucasian told me 'Look Whit, we don't have a race issue in America anymore!' I showed her this.
Then I showed her this.
Yes......clearly race is no longer an issue.
Then I get angry with my own 'people'. What the hell is wrong with you that you perpetuate every possible negative stereotype about black people. Pull your pants up! Get an education! Take care of your children! Hold yourself accountable! Stop blaming 'the man' for your problems and take some ownership of them! Our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents worked SO HARD for us to have the opportunities we now take for granted. I think its safe to say that so many of them would be ashamed of the way the community is today.
I'm sure this post has made some of you uncomfortable. Or has upset you. Good. When it happened I was uncomfortable and upset. I don't want Boomer to learn hate when things like this happen to her. At the same time I wonder when that woman and her husband learned to hate. Because it is absolutely something we learn. If you put a toddlers in a room together they all play happily. They don't care that Bobby is White, and Mellisa is Asian, or that Shelly is Black, and Al is Middle Eastern. We LEARN to hate one another. Be so careful what you are teaching.
Maybe a post about what the trends for spring are....
Perhaps another Sh*t Boomer Says post for mommy confessions. I'm still linking up today because I need to share this and its a confession of sorts.
Something happened to me last night though that is weighing heavy on my mind. In my off line life I've always written about things that matter to me, things that effect me, and my real thoughts and feelings. Why should my blog be any different?
When did you figure out you weren't the same as everyone around you?
For Boomer it was right around 3/4 years old. She was drawing picture of her friend and had laid out different colors of crayons. She asked me to read her the names of the colors.
'Oh Momma! Mason is peach, and I'm tan, and I want to make Chris burnt sienna, and my teacher is apricot.'
She realized that yes, she and all her friends were different colors, but she was excited about all the varying shades of brown, tan, and peach.
She's almost 7 years old and still refers to Caucasian people as 'peach.'
Last night we went out to dinner with my mom. As Boomer and I sat down I noticed the couple across from us shooting disgusted looks our way. I brushed it off. I used to give people with children a similar eye roll I'm sure. No one wants to be seated next to a screaming kid, throwing their vegetables all over the floor. I know my daughter is well behaved, and often charms those seated around her with her quick wit, humor, and sweet nature so I wasn't worried at all.
Then my mother came to the table from the restroom, where she had stopped first, and she also received the same disgusted look. My heart sank a little. I knew now the woman had no issue with the fact that there was a child at the table, but merely with the fact that she was seated near us.
The looks continued throughout dinner. Boomer was her sweet, generally well behaved self, and there were several other children in the dining room, as this is a family restaurant. None of those tables got any of the dirty looks that we did.
Finally it was time for us to leave. We collected our things and I helped Boomer with her coat. Then I heard the woman, clearly and loudly say 'Oh thank God, they're going.'
In 10 seconds my emotions ran the gamut. I was enraged, I was hurt, I felt sorry FOR HER, and fiercely protective of my child. I ushered Boomer quickly to the check out and I knew my mother was behind me. When we had rounded the corner I asked my mom if she had heard what the woman said? She hadn't so I repeated it.
Now you all should know something about my mother. While she is the epitome of a lady, she is not one to take anything lying down. I remember an instance when I was little where we were followed around a store by SEVERAL store clerks. My mother in her very polite and well spoken way, explained to me loudly enough that not only those clerks but the other patrons of the store could hear, that some people automatically assume that simply because of the color of your skin you're a criminal. She then went to the manager of the store and explained that she had planned to spend a great deal of money on my back to school shopping that day, but that she would now be taking her purchase elsewhere because, 'my dollars are the same shade of green as everyone else's.' (This was not the first, or last time something like this would happen.)
After I repeated what the woman had said, my mother just shook her head. I told the cashier what had happened and she was appalled. She apologized and I told her it wasn't her fault at all. She said 'Its a shame that some people just don't have manners.'
When we got in the car, Boomer asked me, 'Why didn't that lady like us? Is it because we're brown and she's peach?"
"Yes, baby something like that."
"But mommy, I have lots of friends that are that color. Gran Gran is that color."
"I know. Not everyone feels the way that she does, but some people do"
I had to stop and get gas and when I peaked in the car I noticed that my mom and Boomer were praying. Mom later told me that they were praying for the woman in the restaurant.
I'm glad that my mom is around to have those teachable moments with Boomer.
I'm at a loss though. How do you explain to a 6 year old that the rules are different for her because of how she looks? That people will assume she is a thief in a store simply because she is 'tan'. That she has to be careful of how she carries herself in certain situations lest she be considered an 'angry black woman'.
I remember when I was a sophomore in high school (2001), one of my class mates tried to convince me that racism didn't exist anymore. I invited him to go shopping with me.
Then following the election of Barack Obama, a girl friend of mine who is Caucasian told me 'Look Whit, we don't have a race issue in America anymore!' I showed her this.
Then I showed her this.
Yes......clearly race is no longer an issue.
Then I get angry with my own 'people'. What the hell is wrong with you that you perpetuate every possible negative stereotype about black people. Pull your pants up! Get an education! Take care of your children! Hold yourself accountable! Stop blaming 'the man' for your problems and take some ownership of them! Our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents worked SO HARD for us to have the opportunities we now take for granted. I think its safe to say that so many of them would be ashamed of the way the community is today.
I'm sure this post has made some of you uncomfortable. Or has upset you. Good. When it happened I was uncomfortable and upset. I don't want Boomer to learn hate when things like this happen to her. At the same time I wonder when that woman and her husband learned to hate. Because it is absolutely something we learn. If you put a toddlers in a room together they all play happily. They don't care that Bobby is White, and Mellisa is Asian, or that Shelly is Black, and Al is Middle Eastern. We LEARN to hate one another. Be so careful what you are teaching.
Monday, March 11, 2013
I'm not a playa....I just crush alot
Hey Lovelies!
And hello new lovelies! (Seriously there are a lot of new people popping up. Feel free to say HI! and introduce yourself. I love my followers.)
Anyway....usually I'd be linking up with my love Sami to tell you all about my weekend. My weekend was boring as hell. So I'll spare you all, and instead be super late to the blog crush party and link up with Erin.
First we have to talk about this girl!
Its Whitney, from I Wore Yoga Pants to Work.
We share a name, a love of white wine, and back that azz up Fridays (late 90s early 2000s hip hop and R&B). We're also Leos (Duh....that splains a lot) I'm not sure exactly how we found each other, but after a series of awesome comments, tweets, and emails, I've gotten to know a lot about her over the past few months. I can honestly say there must be a blate in the future, because I'm pretty sure she is the kind of chick I would have an amazing weekend with. We also recently discovered we share the same birthday. We are exactly a year apart (I'm older, so that nixes our separated at birth theory.)
Then there is the lovely V (Vahni) of Grit and Glamour.
This was one of the first blogs I started reading, and I read through her entire archive in one weekend. She also did me the honor of following my blog when I was a newbie. (Like 5 followers!) She has such a distinctive voice, and style. I'll find myself looking at a press release for a designer, or their newest look book and either thinking V would wear that, or I know she'll have something to say about this, and then a few days later there is is up on her site. I guess if I was giving her a title she would be blogger I most want to be like when I grow up. I want someone to be able to look at something and say 'Oh that's a Whitney piece.'
This next girl I found from a tweet of V's.
Its Christina of Profresh Style.
Yes, she too is a fashion blogger, but this girl keeps it real about EVERYTHING! She talks about dating, life in the city not being as glamorous and easy as we may think, food (seriously drool worthy pictures), and of course blogging and the community of bloggers. I find her refreshing and humorous and I would steal her closet if I could. And she's gorgeous. Doesn't hurt.
These ladies are my recent crushes, and I've so enjoyed learning about new blogs through all of your posts linked up with Erin! Anyone else I should be reading? Leave a comment and let me know!
And hello new lovelies! (Seriously there are a lot of new people popping up. Feel free to say HI! and introduce yourself. I love my followers.)
Anyway....usually I'd be linking up with my love Sami to tell you all about my weekend. My weekend was boring as hell. So I'll spare you all, and instead be super late to the blog crush party and link up with Erin.
First we have to talk about this girl!
 |
| Image Via |
Its Whitney, from I Wore Yoga Pants to Work.
We share a name, a love of white wine, and back that azz up Fridays (late 90s early 2000s hip hop and R&B). We're also Leos (Duh....that splains a lot) I'm not sure exactly how we found each other, but after a series of awesome comments, tweets, and emails, I've gotten to know a lot about her over the past few months. I can honestly say there must be a blate in the future, because I'm pretty sure she is the kind of chick I would have an amazing weekend with. We also recently discovered we share the same birthday. We are exactly a year apart (I'm older, so that nixes our separated at birth theory.)
Then there is the lovely V (Vahni) of Grit and Glamour.
 |
| Image Via |
This was one of the first blogs I started reading, and I read through her entire archive in one weekend. She also did me the honor of following my blog when I was a newbie. (Like 5 followers!) She has such a distinctive voice, and style. I'll find myself looking at a press release for a designer, or their newest look book and either thinking V would wear that, or I know she'll have something to say about this, and then a few days later there is is up on her site. I guess if I was giving her a title she would be blogger I most want to be like when I grow up. I want someone to be able to look at something and say 'Oh that's a Whitney piece.'
This next girl I found from a tweet of V's.
Its Christina of Profresh Style.
 |
| Image Via |
Yes, she too is a fashion blogger, but this girl keeps it real about EVERYTHING! She talks about dating, life in the city not being as glamorous and easy as we may think, food (seriously drool worthy pictures), and of course blogging and the community of bloggers. I find her refreshing and humorous and I would steal her closet if I could. And she's gorgeous. Doesn't hurt.
These ladies are my recent crushes, and I've so enjoyed learning about new blogs through all of your posts linked up with Erin! Anyone else I should be reading? Leave a comment and let me know!
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