I was going to write a post today about how the noises in my office are driving me crazy.
Then before walking down to get lunch I heard the news of a school shooting. By the time I got back to my desk unconfirmed reports of the number of dead were trickling through out news feeds.
How quickly things change.
I distinctly remember arguing with my mother the morning of 9/11, and being so irritated when she dropped me off.
I remember sitting in a class room and watching as the second plane hit. I had school friends whose parents worked at the Pentagon, whose parents and family lived/worked/traveled in NYC.
In that moment, my 15 year old self just wanted my mommy.
I called and she came.
I spent the rest of that day and the next several after never straying to far from my mother and even sleeping in her room.
This morning I was annoyed with Boomer. She had done several naughty things, that she knew were against the rules or that would get her in trouble.
I walked her to the school building and instructed her to behave and have a good day at school. I then bent over, kissed her, said I love you and I'll see you this evening.
I watched her walk into the building and then I went on to work.
How many parents in Connecticut had a similar morning? How many were rushed, or had a tense morning, and now search for their children? How many had their last conversations with their children this morning?
Events like these shake us to our core, and make us question everything. Who does something like this? What motivates these actions? What can we do to stop these terrible things?
I don't have any answers obviously. When I pick Boomer up after work today, I will hug her and kiss her until she makes me stop. Sure, she will do something else to drive me crazy, but I'm her mommy. And right now I just want my baby.