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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Confessions of a Mommy : Being a Mommy is Hard

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Hi Lovelies!

Linking up with Heather and Megan again for mommy confessions.
So the past two weeks I've linked up with funny stories about the love of my life Boomer.

This week, I had something a little more serious weighing on my mind.

I'm sure you looked at my post title and though 'Yeah Duh Whitney. Of course being a mommy is hard!'

When Boomer came into my life I was 20 years old.

On my 21st birthday I was nursing a baby under a blanket at Cheesecake Factory.

While the rest of my friends were living abroad, and looking at graduate schools, I was struggling with online classes and a new born.

When my friends were going out to parties, meeting new people, and making drunken mistakes, I was at home giving baths, feeding solids, and getting really excited about things like Boomer being able to hold her own head up.

Being a mommy is hard. For me it has been hard. I didn't graduate with my undergrad degree until I was 26. Some of my friends have their PhDs right now. Its hard not to feel like not only did I screw up my own life, but sometimes I wonder if I'm screwing her up too.

My friends all see if differently oddly enough. They tell me how lucky I am that I have my family. How I'm such a strong person and cool mom. Which is nice to hear. But being a mommy is still hard.

I don't ever resent Boomer. How could I? She's amazing and she didn't force herself on me. I made choices that brought her into this world, and she is the most AMAZING, WONDERFUL, PERFECT thing in my life.

But it's still hard. Right now its crazy hard. I was the exact same age as Boomer when my parents got divorced. I sat her down on the exact same bed my mother sat me down on. I told her the same exact thing my mom told me. Now I have to arrange for her to 'talk to someone', hell I need to 'talk to someone'......

So that's my confession. Everyday comes with it's own set of challenges, and being a mommy is hard.

P.S. Even though Momma Boom RARELY reads this ol blog....I appreciate her so much more now that I am a mommy. She moved across the country on her own with a six year old. (Heck I just moved down the street.) She sent me to great schools, provided me with great opportunities from voice lessons, to dance, to trips ect. She pursued  (and GOT) advanced degrees (Yeah my mommy is super smart.) All while battling serious health problems, helping her own elderly mommy, and then supporting me and Boomer. If I turn out to be even half the woman that my mommy is, I think I'll be ok.


Ashley said...

think of the example you are setting for her though. You are a strong woman that finished school while parenting.

Grass is always greener mentality can make or break a situation. You've got it going on! It may take you a bit longer to do things but you appreciate it far more :)

Katie said...

This was such a sweet and thoughtful post. Being a mama is no joke. Though I'm a new follower, I can just tell what a lucky girl yours is to have such a caring, together mama. Your own Mama sounds like a wonderfully inspiring it's no wonder :) Hope to meet you at the meet up this weekend, as well...thanks for stopping by my blog :) xxoo

Unknown said...

That is pretty awesome. Being a parent is hard. At least you can say that you accomplished going to school and being a mom. Thank you for stoppping by my blog. I am doing a social party today if you would like to link up and follow along.

Dani @ Wine Cheese and All The Things said...

Being a parent is definitely hard at our age. Your daughter is lucky to have such a driven mama and grandmother to look up to! I am 27 and will be graduating with my undergrad degree on my 28th birthday. Sure, we made choices that changed our paths compared to the paths of our friends, but I keep telling myself that the bonus to all of that will be that I will be around to enjoy everything that is going to happen in his life at a younger age, and enjoy any grandchildren I may have while I'm still young too. My relationships with my two grandmothers are incredibly different, and part of that reason is that one was only 20 when my mother was born, and the other was much older when she had my dad. She hasn't been able to enjoy running around with her grandchildren like my other grandma. I see that, and it makes me grateful for the choices I made. :)

callie ;) said...

i agree with everyone - you are setting a great example for boomer. LIFE isn't easy. not everyone takes the same path, but that doesn't mean everyone can't achieve success. success doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. these are all important lessons she needs to learn, and you are the perfect person to show her!

xoxo. <3

Anonymous said...

I havent told you this lately (dealing with my own insanity right now).. But I'm so proud of you! Your role as mom and life are not easy but you are hanging in there...Miss Boomer loves you very much and I know you'll be there for her. I'll always be there for you.

You, Boomer and Momma Boom are all definitely SMOK-ANN!

The Queen

Unknown said...

Awe girl, I am sorry I am just catching this post now- a day late. You got this, but I can imagine how you feel. It's so damn hard and there is no right or wrong, you just do it and pray you don't screw anything up. I think your doing a great job even though your going through things that aren't easy. I wish you the best of luck with everything. Also O "talks to someone" every other week and she is AMAZING with children. Also our school offers a divorce group with the school councilor, so O&G can meet with kids at their school who went through the same thing- it makes them feel normal I think.You should see if Boomer's school does that. I'm here if you need anything girl- for real.