Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Mommy Has Road Rage Issues

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Hey Lovelies!

I hope everyone had an AWESOME holiday. I had a pretty lazy one and I will fill you in on all the deets....just not today.

Today I am linking up with Heather and Megan and confessing that when I drive I am like crazy Hulk lady. Its awful.

I'm going to get shot one day I swear....because I just get soooooooo angry with people.

And I am very vocal. My hand gestures are kept to a minimum because like I said I'm afraid I'll get shot, but booooy do I mouth off.

For example....this one time I was driving back from Tennessee (ALONE) and this guy was tailgating me. ON AN OPEN ROAD. So I brake checked him. Hard. All while cursing and throwing my hands up in the air.

He then sped off away from me. I drive on cruise control on long trips, and so not 30 minutes later I pull up behind tailgater in heavier traffic....so I return the tailgating favor...then sped to get around him and smiled as I passed. (I may have waved......) MISTAKE. Dude followed me for the next hour.(No matter how fast or slow I went) He even got off the same exit as me. I ran into Cracker Barrel cuz nothing says safety like the Country Store in the middle of nowhere Kentucky. Did I mention that he was a Gators fan and I was CLEARLY wearing my OSU gear.....

The point of this confession is that I TRY...I mean really try to contain myself when Boomer is in the car with me. I come up with very creative ways of cussing people. Example:

Me: (While merging with traffic) OMG!!! Watch where you're going!
Boomer: Mommy....woo-sah.....
Me: (Talking to Momma Boom) Seriously? Did these fools pay for the drivers ed?
Me: FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU HAVE A YIELD SIGN DINKLE-FINK!!!!
Boomer: (In a horrified voice) You talk to your mommy like that?

.....so I had to explain that no, I was not calling Momma Boom a dinkle-fink, but rather the idiot woman that ignored the yield sign. And yes my daughter tells me to woo-sah while driving. I also have her convinced that I am the best driver in Columbus and everyone else just should get off the road.


10 comments:

Leigh said...

Oh my gosh, that sounds super scary. I would have been freaking out! That little Boom is too funny..woo sah, classic!

Ashley said...

HAhahahahahahahahaha oh my god this is hilarious!

I don't often say much but when I do my kid says "Simmer down mommy simmer down!" hahaha

dani, nate, mady and jaxon said...

Hulk lady haha I'm the exact same way at least the newborn doesn't hold it against me but sometimes the toddler gives me the stink eye lol!

Shawna said...

Crazy girl! I am such a timid driver. I would be like oh.. okay you need to get in here. no problem!

Also I nominated your for a Liebster Award :-)

Misty said...

1. I hate Gator fans.

2. I'm the exact same way. I haven't flipped anyone off in a long time, but I totally brake checked an asshole cop last night. It was rush hour. There were cars packed on the interstate. Even though there was nowhere for him to go even if he weren't behind me, he rode my ass for miles to the point that you probably couldn't have fit a toothpick in between our cars. So, I brake checked him. Cop or no cop, I didn't care. LOL

Megan B.B. said...

As a Michigan Wolverine DIEHARD, I'm going to pretend that by OSU, you mean "Oklahoma State" :)
I have AWFUL road-rage. My husband yells at me for brake checking people, and flashing my brights when they are going too slow in the left lane. Hahahaha. I say it's the Detroit driver in me- we're bred rude.
Thanks for linking, again!
xoxox
Megan @ thememoirsofmegan.com

Aimee L said...

Yeah, I brake check the crap out of people. And, I have MAJOR road rage. Ever driven around in the DC metro area? Yeah, that's my hometown. It's some of the worst traffic in the country, and I've driven through LA (tame compared to DC in my opinion).

My New Years' 2013 resolution is to stop swearing, but I reaallyyyy don't know how that's gonna happen when I'm behind the wheel...sigh!!

So glad I'm not the only one - LOL!!!

Andrea said...

Haha love it. I used to be a really calm driver until I drove with my husband enough it started to rub off on me. The other day I flipped someone off in traffic. It was like a week ago and I STILL feel guilty about it! I'm not made for agressive driving.

Heather @ Cookies For Breakfast said...

HAHAHAHAHA do you know how much I look forward to your Mommy Confessions posts every week?? I'm dying laughing over here, you dinkle fink. Do you talk to your mommy like that... HAHAHA Freaking love it.

I'm so in trouble when Ben actually repeats words. I'm horrible in real life, but the car - oh lordy. Look out. Let's pray he doesn't call anyone a douchebag on the playground ;-)

Thanks for linking up again, love!

Cee said...

Ha! This post probably shouldn't have made me laugh, but it did :) I haven't had a car for years because I've always lived so close to the city centre that I've never needed one, but... when I go home to visit my parents I have to drive and seriously, it makes me insane. If you are signalling because you want to merge, I should not have to stop my car, put on the parking brake and wave my arms so you know that you can go in ahead of me. Just sayin' :)
xox,
Cee