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Thursday, November 21, 2013

If My Parents Only Knew?

So I think this post idea is genius Erin and Rebecca. Genius.

Except here is the thing.

My mother. Well, she knows ALL.

Its scary how much my mother knows.

Also...I have this tendency to confess. To everything. I'd be a terrible spy. I've been known to confess to something that happened 10 years ago. Something I've clearly gotten away with. 

Do you know what happens when I make these confessions to my mother?

She smiles at me ever so sweetly and cocks her head a little to the left and says, 'Yes Whitney, I know. I've always known.'


Like when I confessed about losing my Vcard.

'Yes Whitney, I know. I've always known.'

See...I've always had a lotta hair.

Like when I ate the tops out of every layer of red velvet cake that my mother was making for a dinner. And I blamed it on a mouse. Who was trying to be helpful. By making the cakes level. I ate the tops.

'Yes Whitney, I know. I've always known.'

*And then she made me eat THE WHOLE CAKE. It sounds like it would be good. But an entire frosted red velvet cake will make your 8 year old stomach not want red velvet again for like....20 years.*

To be clear, I was a good student. A nerd basically. I stayed out of most trouble, just the usual kid/teenager stuff. My worst offenses were my smart ass mouth. Which got popped more than I like to admit. In the grand scheme of things, if Boomer is like me, I'll be ok with that.

Our Momma's were besties so we are too!
At the end of the day, I'm good with Mom's freakish knowledge of me, her only child. She knows all there is to know, and she still loves me. Also...she has passed on this strange super power to me.

When Boomer was a wee little thing, any time she started breathing a certain way I knew she was being naughty.

House eerily quiet? Boomer's doing something crazy.

Boomer pulling left ear, while telling me about her day? She is either leaving out something important, or straight up lying.

So maybe...all these things you think your parents don't know...they really do. Chew on that.



Erin said...

You blamed the cake being eaten on a mouse…? Was this a city rat or a Stuart Little.

Rachel said...

HA! Eating all of the frosting off of the cupcakes, that's pretty slick! Also, making a kid eat an entire cake? That's cold, and awesomely effective!

Mar said...

If all your excuses were of the same variety as the whole mouse thing, then it makes sense that your mom knows and has always known lol

girl C said...

That was good idea for your mother to make you eat the entire cake! That'll teach you to stay out of the desserts before they're ready. LOL

jackie jade said...

haha I feel like I got away with a lot with my parents, but i'm sure they knew/know a lot than they're letting on. I was mainly a good kid too but was a little mischievous here and there too. oops!
-- jackie @ jade and oak

Cee said...

Ha ha, it's funny to me to read this because if my mom knows even have the things my brother and I got up to when we were younger, she has never owned up to it. But we still turned out all right - at least, I think so ;)

Alex, Speaking Denglish said...

Ah I love that, "I've always known!" There are so many things I still need to confess to my mom, but yep, I'm sure she already knows, too.

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

Hahahaha! My mom is the SAME way!!!!! I love when I tell her something from YEARS ago and she says "You think I didn't know that?" :P

Princess Burlap said...

Just so it's out there, I think that first photo may be the most hilarious I have ever seen. Like, choke on your pesto veggie sandwich hilarious.