Monday, October 21, 2013

'I don't cook!' ... and other lies I tell.

Hey All!

This weekend kicked my booty!

On Saturday, my mom hosted a dinner party for some our friends from church. It was a lot of fun, but its also a lot of work. My mother is a great cook, and quite a baker. She also sews, plays piano and has a wonderful singing voice. Oh and has....3(?) advanced degrees. Seriously she's wonder woman. 

Anyway. I was her assistant with this dinner party. Which involved last minute runs to Kroger for ice cream and whole wheat baguettes. And also making the punch. I made this really yummy pomegranate lemonade. However because this was my mother's dinner party, making said lemonade involved REAL lemons, and REAL pomegranate seeds. The seeds that had to be pounded with a mortar and pestle for their juice. I kid you not friends, I kid you not. The perk for all this help was that I got to eat an AWESOME dinner,, I'm still full I think.

Here's where the lie comes in. I made the punch, and I have no problem telling people that. I, however will never tell anyone that I can cook. I mean in real life. I don't care if my readers here know.

People assume, because they never see me having people for dinner, or hosting after church dinners, that I can't cook. Also they make this assumption because I'm thin. You know. Skinny betches can't cook. I let people assume this. I'm fine with it. It means people don't ever ASK me to cook. WINNING. For the past 3 years I've cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal for my family with the exception of a side or two. I'm a good cook. I did it for a living at one point in college. If anyone asks though, I play dumb. Same with baking, although to a lesser extent. I can throw down. I just tell people it's boxed mix, or that I followed mom's recipe. Its safer this way.

Sunday was my Grandmother's 99th birthday.

99th GUYS!!!! How wild is that?

We had cake and Momm got her some spiffy new clothes that she actually said she loved. This is unusual because my Grandma is as picky as they come, so we were really excited to get such high praise. Boomer read grandma all her birthday cards which made for a really sweet moment.

Momm usually isn't too keen on my posting pictures of her on the interwebs, and if you follow me on Insta you've already seen this, but I'm sharing it again. (With Momm's permission of course.)


I found quite possibly my holy grail of lipstick while going through mom's collection on Sunday. I mean it is perfect. Wouldn't you know it, the woman forgot where she bought it from?!?!?!? I've found it online, but I mean I know she bought it in town so the hunt is ON!

Seriously...localistas??? Help!


Boomer and I were being silly, but seriously how pretty is that red? It's called vixen. I NEED IT.

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

8 comments:

Helene in Between said...

happy birthday to her! and my mom is goos at all that domestic stuff and i wish i was. alas.

Tiffany @ Polka Dotted Cats said...

That picture is so amazingly special. Happy Birthday to your grandma!

And the lipstick is perfect on you!

Laura Darling said...

Wow 99!! happy birthday to your grandma!

Sevi {Ware is the Vodka?!?} said...

99 is such a big birthday and that picture is beautiful. It makes me miss my grandmother so much. When you find that lipstick, let me know because I WANT!

Cee said...

That red lip is amazing. And happy birthday to your grandma, 99 is such a huge milestone!

As for cooking, my husband is a chef... this obviously means he cooks for other people most of the time and I have to feed myself. So I have to know how to cook. But I play dumb, too. It makes life so much simpler - no playing hostess for me!
xox,
Cee

LG @ thelaurelgazette.com said...

Wow happy birthday to your grandmother! And very smart move on your part not telling people you can cook. very wise indeed.

deloom.com said...

Happy Birthday to your Grandmother! <3

Misty said...

This skinny betch can't cook. #noshame :)